The good thing about being a cow Daisy thought as she hopped out of the big silver avión is that Cows eat grass and you can find grass everywhere......
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Then one fine morning quite unexpectedly she jumped over a small hedge only to find herself landing not on freshly chewed grass as she had anticipated but instead she landed on something warm, and soft, and really rather furry!!!
"mgulphsfumph!" yelped the furry thing!
"Why I'm most terribly sorry!" mumbled Daisy shaking herself down and picking herself and the furry thing up!
"urghgumplfiedcow" was the somewhat strained reply...
"Hello I'm Daisy! - and you must be...um.... a sheep?" she queried hesitantly, as Daisy had never seen quite such a sheep before and sheep usually spoke baaglish a language she was more familiar with.
"Aha! Well, Daisy the cow eh, I had heard all cows were called Daisy, might I enquire whether you have some form of problem with your eyesight?" replied the furry thing having fully regained the power of language.
"Not at all why?"
"Well quite apart from the fact that you clearly mistook me for some kind of landing ramp, you've now insulted me further by implying that I, king of the Alpaca tribe of field South-East-B, am some kind of sheep!?!"
"Er, I'm terribly sorry, I must admit I thought you were some grass but now I can quite clearly see you are of royal breeding stock and um, oooh are you an All-packer?, how exciting! um, your royal highnessessess!"
"Yes, an A-L-P-A-C-A"
"That's what I said an ALL-PACKER"
"Hmm, well that's sort of what I am, anyhow more importantly what might I ask are you doing jumping into my kingdom all unannounced? Are you on some kind of assassination mission?" the King eyed her suspiciously...
"Oh sorry! Not at all! I'm going on an adventure"
"An adventure eh? Well you must be headed for the aeropuerto, next field along..Goodbye!"
"Um, sorry again your highnessessess, er what? What is an aero...per...to? And why would I be going there?"
"Sigh, you see that really big loud bird up in the sky?"
"Yes the shiny one! I see it, I seee it!"
"Ok, well they are specially commissioned birds that carry Alpacas all over the world so they can try out new fields and develop new Kingdoms. They carry humans too so I daresay they might take cows... although you are rather large...."
"There's no need to be rude" said Daisy rather embarressed now.."my mum said I was just big boned..." she mumbled turning slowly red "And could I travel with one of these birds? What if they dropped me, I can't fly!?!"
"Don't worry you can't drop out! And they don't like being called birds they have a special name avión I tell you what come with me I'll explain what you do...."
So the King of the all-packers and Daisy the cow strolled across his field kingdom towards the big field where the shiny birds lived. Daisy felt very special and royal as all the all-packers turned to look as they went past, they nodded their heads and whispered amongst themselves....
At the other end of the field they looked over the fence at a big shiny avión.
"OOOhhhh" cried Daisy "it looks huge!"
"Right this is what you do" announced the King of the All-packers with royal authority, "You don't have to queue or produce a ticket or anything that's just for the humans - we animals are far to important for that. We have our own entrance round the back. You just stick one of the those big stickers that says 'Live Cargo' to yourself and stand there beside all those big boxes and wait to be loaded through the big doors!"
"And what happens then?" asked Daisy now slightly apprehensive..
"Ah well you arrive in a foreign land set for adventure and excitement of course" said the King somewhat enthusiastically!
And that was the right thing to say as Daisy was all about the adventure...!
"Bye!!!!!!!!" said Daisy as she vaulted over the fence! "Thankyou! Maybe I could send you back a nice hat?"
She couldn't quite make out what he said but she thought it might have sounded like "...crown.."
And off she went, in a big shiny bird, to foreign lands, whatever they were!!!!
I wonder if I should have checked what "foreign" was she thought as the avion took off.....
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
One day a cow called Daisy (because everybody knows all cows are called Daisy) woke up and decided to do something with her life.
‘All I do is live on this farm’, she thought, ‘I sleep and eat and eat and sleep and sometimes the farmer milks me or I chat to the sheepdog but there must be more to life surely? I’d like to see the world, travel to far off places or at least to the next farm. I hear they have pigs there and some creatures called ‘All-Packers’ who the sheepdog tells me are much furrier than cows.’
Hoping to catch sight of the ever elusive ‘All-Packers’ Daisy leaned over a bale of straw to peer out from hole in the old barn wall….
‘Oooooooo’ she murmured with delight and wonder for the most AMAZING thing had happened.
The whole world that just yesterday had been all shades of colours from grey to green with lots of browns and yellows and reds and blues and all things in between, the whole wide world had overnight turned completely and utterly WHITE!
‘Quick’ yelled Daisy’s friend Daisy (because everybody knows all cows are called Daisy)
‘We’re all going out to make snowcows!’
Suddenly, standing udder-high in sparkling white cold snow Daisy had an idea!
If she could only make her snowcow look just convincingly enough like herself that the farmer counting his cows from a distance might not notice that she was missing… (at least not until the snow melted anyhow) … then that would leave her enough time to sneak through the gap in the fence and out into the big wide white world and on to cow freedom….
and so she did,
and that was the start of all her adventures!